By Sunita Rajiv
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that in spite of all our efforts to remain fit and fine , we happily end up being fit and fat.’Zoozoo’, the mascot of Vodafone, can really be upheld as the national symbol of typical Indian figure. The pear shaped torso with its prosperous gathering around the waist, is just the shape our bodies find it natural to grow into.
The reasons are many but mainly the needle points to the gastronomical delights our tongue is always ready to savour.The generous helpings of sweets, our fetish for fried food and slavery to smell of sizzling spices, all join hands to add a good number of inches to our slowly swelling girth. The nonresident Indians miss their’ chhappan bhog ‘more than their filial ties. The hour glass figures of young girls vanish within a few months of their marriage and the blessings of “phoolo phalo” works literally. The Indian mothers proudly bless their Karishma Kapoors who eventually blossom into Farida Jalals and love the glow on their rounder cheeks.Men go a step ahead. While their pretty wives enthusiastically drown themselves in foodie delights, they indulge in all sorts of extremities because now the battle is over and the queen has been won. The once faithful leather belt begs for another hole and either loosens up or bows down in reverence to the swelling belly which will never deliver. The ‘zoo zoo’ is an icon for our men too. So if you need to see and assess a man’s prosperity, just look for two signs: receding hairline and proceeding waistline.
Another culprit is the simplicity and accomodatibility[ if I may use the term] of the Indian dresses. Lets glance at the most trendy and comfortable wear- our churidar/salwar and kurta.The kurta is stitched properly from shoulders till the diaphragm, highlighting the assets, but he moment the garment reaches the stomach/navel, it displays two big slits on both sides leaving enough room for the occupant to grow to her heart’s content. The front side gracefully covers the façade and similar responsibility is shouldered by the back side of the kurta quite obediently .But soon the acute angular space between the two grows into an obtuse angle, proudly displaying the salwar pleats and prosperity of the owner. The sleek slithery slacks provide the same luxury with its elastic belt that keeps on stretching like the typical Indian patience, leaving enough scope for eternal zoozooing.
Undoubtedly, the creator of zoozoo should be given a national award for having so accurately depicted the geography of the Indian figure. In order to get back the ‘Paradise lost’, one finds multitudes of our countrymen and women in yoga centers, gyms and aerobics classes, trying to waste the fat around the waist. Like all beautiful things, the slim figure is short lived and the nation moves on with the armies of zoozoos everywhere on the road, in the offices, in metro, on stations, wriggling in and out with their bulky bottoms and wobbly waists because the entire country from Kashmir to Kanyakumari is suffering from ZooZooaria.