When you are on the wrong side of 40 there are only two lines that are important to you: hair line and waistline.
All the other lines just don’t matter.
The first one gives you a shock every time you go in front of the mirror even to wash your hands. The cruelty is increased manifold if this washbasin mirror has a bulb on the top. The parting of your hair grows wider with each passing day and the parting pain of the once so lovely and luxurious strands becomes unbearable. So now when you walk out on the streets, its not the dresses that catch your eyes, its the dark lovely hair of ladies or the headful of hair of men walking so confidently ahead of you which make you lose the little self esteem you had. The hairline shows the won or lost battle against age. So now you listen to the hair lotion ads a bit too carefully. The model convinces you that it was only because of this particular lotion that he/she gained her hair and confidence both.You toy with the idea and eventually after much rumination ,give in. No sooner have you called the company whose plan has been crafted so perfectly to rob you of your savings too, that you begin dreaming yourself as being blessed with lustrous locks heavy tresses and you can even picture the surprised jealousy on the faces of your relatives in the coming family get together. What’s more you begin to hear their addictive compliments.
As you dedicatedly apply the lotion everyday, you are surprised to find yourself searching for ‘How to cure hair loss?’ videos on the Youtube.Your wife is perplexed by your demands of making a special five oil mixture for you and the eventual oil marks left by your crowning glory on your pillow too.
Wait ! there is another line waiting for your attention and this line is inversely proportionate to the receding hairline.
Yes! this is your waistline which increases as silently and stubbornly as the withdrawing hairline. Your trousers revolt and the shirts refuse to let the buttons stay on place.Every time you try to locate the button which has flown to some remote corner in the room as a result of your tussle with the last year’s trousers, your wife screams and reminds you to visit the gym regularly. Your embarrassment knows no limits when she announces publicly about your steadfast vow to resume workouts and which always were pushed backseat due to your melting determination.You suddenly begin to understand the secret behind Vodafone’s icon “zoozoo’ which has a pear shaped body and an egg shaped face. This waistline makes you order all kinds of belts/ waist toners that proclaim on various channels about their unchallenged ability to reduce few inches within a few days. You are again transported to the Disneyland of your dreams.
Thanks to all the messages on Positive thinking in your Whats App groups, you fly your kite once again. No sooner have you placed the order for the latest tummy tucking belt ,you start listening to the great words from your loved ones which were never uttered.You undergo the torturous exercise of squeezing your bulging form into the socks-like belt and keep visiting the mirror in the vain hope of seeing your pear like form to become hour glass figure.
Every sweet seems to betray you and kids start eyeing your half teaspoon more sugar in the coffee.When you go shopping and pick a shirt/ top to try, the salesman unabashedly tells you -“You need extra large size sir!’while politely taking away the shirt in your hand.You enter the parties with your stomach sucked in to face the the hired cameramen so ready to catch every glimpse of the guests. Every friend who meets you in the party keeps bragging about what all he is doing to keep himself fit and fine and you squirm at the thought of this friend taking you for the morning walk next morning.
Such are the woes of waistline and hairline , the LOCs of one’s existence.